Free personality testNo experience requiredHappiness is yours
KIFFLOMThe Epsilon Program Donate

Year 157 · Now accepting members

Are you happy?
You just don't know it yet.

Every coin is a cult. This one admits it. Take the free personality test, receive your certificate, and begin your ascension through the program.

Take the free test Donate to the program
$KIFFLOM · contract CA soon
The program's founder in his baby-blue robe (GTA V screenshot)
The 10th Paradigm begins in -- GTA VI unlocks in New Zealand, 18 Nov 11:00 UTC. The program has waited 13 years. It can wait 3 more days.
I

Take the test

Six questions. Scientifically designed. Everyone passes, which is how you know it works.

II

Receive the robe

The robe is earned, not bought. (It is bought. With $KIFFLOM.)

III

Ascend

Five levels, from Seeker to Ascended. Each one closer to Kraff. None of them refundable.

The free personality test

Discover who you already are.

The levels of ascension

Hold more. Know less. Ascend.

Your level is set by how much $KIFFLOM you hold. The robes are spiritual. The perks are jokes. The program is very serious about both.

    Find your level

    No signing. The program only looks. Or slide to see where you would stand.

    Seeker0 $KIFFLOM

    100,000 more $KIFFLOM to become an Initiate.

    Ascend

    A testimony from Los Santos

    Michael gave the program everything.

    1. $500A first donation. A small step toward happiness.
    2. $5,000The program noticed his commitment.
    3. $10,000Paid in two parts. Truth is not free.
    4. The robeWorn for ten days. No exceptions.
    5. 5 milesWalked into the desert. On foot. In the robe.
    6. $50,000The final donation, then $2.1M of apocalypse funds driven to the helicopter.

    His reward: one rusty tractor.

    We are more generous than that. We are not yet sure how. Kifflom.

    The desert walk (GTA V screenshot)
    Exercising the truth
    K1FFLOM license plate (GTA V screenshot)
    The apocalypse funds, en route
    Michael holding a flashing box at night (GTA V screenshot)
    "Okay, come on then, little flashing box. Reveal the great truth to me."

    The twelve tenets

    Everything you need to know. Nothing you don't.

      Members share their journey

      Real stories. From members.

      "I used to check the chart before my family. Now I still do, but happily."
      TomRobe Bearer
      "I sold the bottom once. The program logged my IP as that of an Unsaveable. I have since repented, at a higher price."
      MarnieInitiate
      "I walked five miles into the desert. When I got back, the chart was still there. So was I. Kifflom."
      JimmyInner Circle

      Members are fictional. So, probably, is happiness.

      The flashing box

      Reveal the great truth to me.

      The chart will be revealed in due time.
      Kifflom.

      Chart soon

      Visit the center

      The only religion that is also a chart.

      Doors open. Robes on. Wallets ready. The program will see you now.

      Donate to the programFollow the program on X

      Frequently asked questions

      We have answers. One answer.

      Is this a cult?

      Kifflom.

      Is there a roadmap?

      Kifflom.

      When moon?

      Kifflom.

      What do I get for holding?

      Happiness. You just don't know it yet. (On precedent, possibly a rusty tractor.) Kifflom.

      I have doubts.

      That is the 7th Paradigm talking. Kifflom.

      Is this affiliated with Rockstar Games?

      No. KIFFLOM is a fan-made meme coin. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by or connected to Rockstar Games or Take-Two Interactive. The program only wishes it were. Kifflom.

      Is this financial advice?

      No. It is a meme coin, for entertainment only. Never donate what you cannot afford to lose. Kifflom.

      The program is open.
      You were always going to join.

      Donate to the programTake the free test